I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
