I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
