I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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