If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
