so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
