It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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