Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize