It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
So much rum. So many feels.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
