Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize