I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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