redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the day after is always just damage control
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
