Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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