and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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