(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
