You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
