Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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