I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
You can't special order awesome
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He? As in you personified your dick?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
