the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
