It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
