he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
