the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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