you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize