She is in my trunk
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
