I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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