I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
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The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
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Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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