her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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