I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
he thought i was a dude.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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