I'm eating all of the evidence.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
