The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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