Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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