seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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