I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
