Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
he fucked my hip out of place.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
