My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
So much rum. So many feels.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
