im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
