anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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