Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
