you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
