btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
she woke up with a sticky ear
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize