she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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