it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
