You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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