i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
