You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
