also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
