Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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