My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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