i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
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