haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
