I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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