There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
