her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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