Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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