I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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