using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
