i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
