she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
