I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
