She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize