Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
