Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
