Christians are straight up FREAKS
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
